2015 Mix with Music Video

HEY Y'ALL! On this beautiful last day of 2015, I am posting my last blog post of the year! BUT it isn't really just a blog post. 

I enjoy making mash-ups of various songs simply for personal enjoyment, so I made one with some of the best songs from 2015. Then I had this brilliant idea to involve my younger siblings by making a music video. SOOO without further ado, here is my 2015 song mash-up with a Veilleux music video! 

Tuesday Ten - Favorite Country Artists

10. Tim McGraw 

And I loved deeper / And I spoke sweeter / And I gave forgiveness I'd been denyin' 

9. Eric Church

Funny how a melody sounds like a memory / Like a soundtrack to a July Saturday night / Springsteen

8. Carrie Underwood 

And now I'm singing along to Amazing Grace / Can't nobody wipe this smile on my face 

7. Keith Urban 

So take your records, take your freedom / Take your memories, I don't need 'em / Take your space and all your reasons / But you'll think of me 

6. Zac Brown Band

Salute the ones who died / The ones that give their lives / So we don't have to sacrifice / All the things we love

5. TIE - Miranda Lambert and Lee Brice 

M.L. - I thought that maybe I could find myself / If I could just come in, I swear I'll leave / Won't take nothing but a memory / From the house that built me 

L.B. - Be a best friend / Tell the truth / And overuse "I love you" / Go to work / Do your best / Don't outsmart your common sense / Never let your praying knees get lazy / And love like crazy

4. Sam Hunt 

I don't have to make you love me / I just wanna take your time 

3. Lady Antebellum 

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight / Just a touch of the fire burning so bright / I don't wanna mess this thing up / I don't wanna push too far 

2. Luke Bryan 

I didn't know where it was goin' / Just tryin' to keep my heart on the tracks 

1. Florida Georgia Line

Baby, you a song / You make me wanna roll my windows down / And cruise

Tuesday Ten - Compliments Girls Love

10. I enjoy talking with you. - This compliments a lady's intelligence as well as her communication skills. She will be flattered that a guy loves talking with her and wants to listen to her opinions.

9. I like the way you think. - This is way better than "you're smart," which only compliments a female's capability of remembering factual knowledge. "I like the way you think" notices the lady as an interesting person rather than a clever person.

8. You're optimistic and charismatic. - This compliments how happy and relaxed a woman is while she is around a certain guy. All girls love to be seen as having a positive personality.

7. What do you think? - No, this does not appear to be a compliment on the surface, but look deeper. Asking a girl's opinion is a great way to compliment her because the question shows that she is valued for her thoughts rather than just her looks.

6. You carry yourself well. - While this compliment could be from anyone, it shows that a man pays attention to the small details about how a lady behaves when he is (or isn't) around. This compliments a girl's maturity level as well as her confidence.

5. I wish we had met sooner. - This is a great way to put a woman at ease by letting her know that the past is in the past, and now only the best lies ahead.

4. Your smile brightens my day. - Yes, this is very cliche, but it works every time. I'm not sure why, but any guy who compliments a lady in this way will have her blushing in 0.2 seconds flat.

3. Nobody makes me happier than you. - With this compliment, the man compares the woman to his previous girlfriends and places her way above them all. Women are naturally competitive, and this compliment will surely boost her confidence.

2. I'm lucky to have you. - This is the perfect compliment; it basically says that no one else out there will do. It's the greatest way to tell a girl that she is one of a kind and very special. The guy who says this shows true appreciation for his lady.

1. You're beautiful. - Simple and eloquent. Whether it is the very first date or the fiftieth wedding anniversary, every woman wants to be told she is beautiful. So long as one man says she is beautiful to him - well, that's all that counts.

BONUS TIP! - Compliment her with chivalry. If you want to compliment a lady, then behave like a gentleman. Simple acts such as holding doors open and helping her take off her coat show that a man believes a girl is a true lady, and that she deserves respect for that alone.

Just Rambling

Hey y'all. So I just got my wisdom teeth out and my mouth hurts really bad. I'm trying really hard to type a blog post with no spelling errors, but that seems to be requiring the correction of every single word. I guess I'm a bit loopy right now. Loopy and tired. 

Anyways, there are only 8 days until Christmas. I am both ready and not ready. I am ready for Christmas because I am ready for Christ to be born. I am not ready for Christmas because I have to finish Christmas shopping and wrap all the gifts and clean the house. I feel like my mom on this one, lol. 

But yeah. Also, I got all my final grades! I got a B in psych, A- in bio (s/o to Milas for the C in her class in high school), A- in foundations of Catholicism, A in sociology, and an A in western civ (which I thought I was going to get a C- in thanks to my first test). First semester of college finished with a 3.7. Here's to next semester, and hopefully doing the same!

Tuesday Ten - My Favorite Songs (Released in 2015)

10. The Hills - The Weeknd 

I'm just tryna get you out the friend zone / Cause you look even better than the photos 

9. Marvin Gaye - Charlie Puth ft. Meghan Trainor 

Let's Marvin Gaye and get it on / You got the healing that I want

8. Stitches - Shawn Mendes 

I thought that I've been hurt before / But no one's ever left me quite this sore / Your words cut deeper than a knife / Now I need someone to breathe me back to life 

7. Break Up With Him - Old Dominion 

Rip it off just like a band-aid / The way you look at me, girl, you can't pretend / I know you ain't in love with him, break up with him 

6. Hello - Adele

They say time's supposed to heal ya / But I ain't done much healing 

5. Loving You Easy - Zac Brown Band 

Come slow this down and make it last / The best things fly by so fast 

4. Sorry - Justin Bieber

Yeah I know that I let you down / Is it too late to say I'm sorry now 

3. I'm Comin' Over - Chris Young 

So I'm comin' over, running every red light / To hell with the closure, save it for another time / Try not to think about you, but it ain't workin' / Why put out a fire when it's still burnin' 

2. Stressed Out - Twenty One Pilots 

I was told when I get older all my fears would shrink / But now I'm insecure and I care what people think 

1. John Cougar, John Deere, John 3:16 - Keith Urban 

Just another rebel in the great wide open / On the boulevard of broken dreams / And I learned everything I needed to know from John Cougar, John Deere, John 3:16


*All of these songs can be found in a playlist here: My Favorite Songs (Released in 2015). 

Sitting In Class

Yo so I'm currently sitting in my last biology class for the semester. He's talking about biomes right now, but I already know this stuff thanks to Mr. Beauregard at SMS in middle school, so I'm crazy bored. 

Did you know chaparral was a biome? I didn't know that one so I paid attention for a few minutes. Chaparrals are found in many coastal regions that border deserts. Who knew? 

So this week has been great. I've been one of the calmest people out of all of my friends. I finished my paper (due tomorrow) on Tuesday. I finished my reading for all of my finals on Wednesday. I plan on finishing my biology study guide right after this class ends, and my sociology study guide will be finished before I go to bed tonight. I'm totally on target for finals, and I could not be happier about that. 

HERE WE GO FINALS WEEK!!

Just Me Being Sappy

Some people make the world more special just by being in it. 

I have this one friend who has the ability to relate to me on all levels. We have similar pasts, similar struggles, and similar personalities. We also share a passion for dance and faith in God. 

When I told her about what I am currently struggling with, she welcomed me with open arms and words of comfort. When I told her about the progress I made in overcoming that struggle, she embraced me and made sure that I knew she was proud of me. I am so thankful to have her in my life because she radiates warmth, acceptance, and safety along with sass, humor, and fun. 

I didn't come to Franciscan expecting to meet someone just like me, but I am so grateful that God has let me cross paths with this fabulous young lady. Her support has immensely lifted my spirits, especially throughout these last few weeks. I'm incredibly excited to adventure on in this friendship and to find out what God has in store. 

Tuesday Ten - Favorite Inspirational Quotes

HEY. ARE YOU FEELING DOWN? THEN YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE. READ THESE TEN QUOTES, AND START FEELING BETTER AGAIN! (I take no credit for saying any of these things. I just live by them. K thanks.)

10. Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try. 

9. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. 

8. Everyday may not be good, but there is something good in everyday. 

7. It's not who you are that holds you back - it's who you think you're not. 

6. Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. 

5. Mistakes are proof that you are trying.  

4. You can't start the next chapter of your life until you stop rereading the last one. 

3. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. 

2. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. 

1. Don't let your struggle become your identity. 

Words Do Matter, Even If You're "Kidding"

You called a six year old girl on the playground stupid. When she got upset and told the teacher, you said you were just kidding and didn't really mean it. The girl forgot about it the next day, and the teacher blew it off. Boys tease girls that they like. 

You called a twelve year old girl in class nerdy. When she was offended and complained to her mom, you said you were just joking around. She didn't take it as a joke, but everyone else let it go. Boys will be boys. 

You called a sixteen year old girl in the cafeteria a slut. When she felt hurt and explained it to her friends, they told her it was because you wanted her. Because you liked her. She was stung by the comment, but everyone told her to forget about it. Boys insult girls that they want.

You called an eighteen year old girl easy. You said she was too feisty. Too sassy all the time. You told her she was angry all the time and that she constantly had the face of a bitch. You said she needed to do her hair and make-up differently because it would make her look better. You told her to stop talking about things that made her happy because she talked about them for too long and you just didn't want to hear about it. You made fun of her every move. 

She was damaged by every single insult, but you habitually said you were just fucking around and didn't actually mean it. She complained to her friends, but they told her to take a joke once in awhile and to not be so uptight. Boys tease girls that they like. Boys will be boys. Boys insult girls that they want. 

But I bet you didn't know that the girl you insulted for personal amusement cried about it. She tried to change herself to make you stop insulting her, but it never ended. You abused her so badly that she thought about hurting herself. She hasn't gotten there yet, but she could. You wounded her every time you spoke to her, and you didn't even notice, nor did you care. 

Make sure you think about what you're saying before you say it. Make sure the psychological damage to that girl is worth your personal pleasure and your friends' laughter and respect. Make sure her emotional instability is worth your insincere friendships that are based on your ability to degrade that girl. Make sure it's worth it. 

Sticks and stones may break bones, but words definitely break minds and hearts. There is always some truth behind every insult, whether you say you're kidding or not. Think before you speak, because that girl is an emotional wreck due to the wounds and pain you have inflicted on her. 

Tuesday Ten - Favorite Show Tunes

HEY Y'ALL. So in an effort to post more on my blog, I am starting this new thing called Tuesday Ten. Every week on Tuesday, I will post a list of 10 things in regard to a certain subject. Today the subject is my favorite songs from musicals; this list was especially difficult because I LOVE SHOW TUNES. Without further ado, here is my list of the BEST show tunes! 

10. Miracle of Miracles - Fiddler on the Roof 

But of all God's miracles large and small / The most miraculous one of all / Is the one I thought could never be / God has given you to me 

9. Tomorrow - Annie 

The sun'll come out tomorrow / So you gotta hang on til tomorrow / Come what may 

8. Cell Block Tango - Chicago  

He had it coming, he had it coming / He only had himself to blame / If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it / I bet that you would have done the same / Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! 

7. Seasons of Love - Rent 

How do you measure, measure a year? / In daylights, in sunsets / In midnights, in cups of coffee / In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife / In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes / How do you measure a year in the life? / How about love? 

6. For Good - Wicked 

So much of me is made of what I learned from you / You'll be with my like a handprint on my heart / And now whatever way our stories end / I know you have rewritten mine by being my friend 

5. Cabaret - Cabaret 

When I go, I'm going like Elsie / Start by admitting from cradle to tomb / Isn't that long a stay / Life is a cabaret, ol' chum / It's only a cabaret, ol' chum / And I love a cabaret 

 

4. On My Own - Les Miserables 

Without me / His world will go on turning / A world that's full of happiness that I have never known 

3. Anything Goes - Anything Goes 

The world has gone mad today / And good's bad today / And black's white today / And day's night today / When most guys today that woman prize today are just silly gigolos / So though I'm not a great romancer / I know that I'm bound to answer when you propose / Anything goes 

2. The Winner Takes It All - Mamma Mia 

The game is on again / A lover or a friend / A big thing or small / The winner takes it all 

1. Defying Gravity - Wicked 

I'm through accepting limits / Cause someone says they're so / Some things I cannot change / But til I try I'll never know

A Letter To My High School Teachers

To All Of My High School Teachers - Mrs. Ward, Mrs. Regan, Deacon Giard, Mrs. Poirier, Ms. Coan, Ms. Moros, Mr. Brudz, Ms. Stoyles, Mrs. Reilly, Ms. Mannion, Mrs. Janecko, Ms. Casey, Mrs. Shattuck, Mr. Healey, Mrs. Hicks, Ms. Milas, Mrs. Andrews, Mr. Amidon, Mr. Menner, Ms. Raffles, Mrs. Jacobs, Mr. Hammer, Ms. Ridel, Mrs. Gilbert, Coach Calande, Mrs. Heaney, Mr. McConville, and Mrs. Marcucio: 

Let me start off by saying thank you. I was very lucky to have people in my life so dedicated to their jobs. I was fortunate to learn from each of you. There is something I took away from each class - some good and some bad. Most of you taught me lessons that I will carry on throughout the rest of my life. I graduated with more than grades on my report card. I left with values and life lessons that could never be graded. 

I am writing this letter now because I did not realize the impact you had on my life until you were all gone. Let this be a reminder to all of your current students: you are spoiled, just like I was. High school teachers were adults in my life that cared about me and wanted the best for not only me, but all of their students. 

I want to thank you for being difficult teachers. I now appreciate all of your challenges because it prepared me for the level of college work. At the time, I hated when I had a paper and two tests due on the same day, but now I am grateful for those sleepless nights. It was conditioning for my higher education. 

This letter is addressed to all of my teachers, even the ones I did not particularly "like" in class. You helped me focus on the content of the class and not the teacher; it is impossible to like everyone. Not every professor is going to be my favorite, and the same goes for the subject. I may not be interested in the course content, but that does not excuse me from not doing well or trying in the class, and I learned that thanks to you. 

For the teachers who truly loved their job, thank you. It was noticeable that you cared about the subject matter and that you wanted each of your students to care as well. You respected your students, and in return, you gained respect from them. I never wanted to let you down. You helped me try very hard in every aspect of your classes, and you expected nothing less than my best efforts. Thank you for motivating me to try my hardest with all parts of school. You all helped me become a better student in the quick four years I spent in high school. 

Thank you for guiding me in the right direction, for helping me find what I love, and for teaching what you love. All of your students have benefited and will continue to benefit. I wish you the best of luck with the rest of this school year. Try not to miss me as much as I miss all of you. 

Thank you for everything. 

Love and Blessings, 
Your High School Graduate 

50 Things I Believe

During senior year, I had to do a project for my religion class in which I had to create a list of 50 things I believe in. After coming upon this list recently, I have revised it slightly, therefore making it more of who I am now as a sophomore in college. The following list states 50 things that I currently believe in. 

1. I believe in God. 
2. I believe that God has a plan and a purpose for me. 
3. I believe that friendship cures sadness. 
4. I believe that music creates happiness.
5. I believe that dancing is good for the soul, no matter how "badly" it is done. 
6. I believe that life is about making mistakes and learning from them. 
7. I believe in the power of a good attitude. 
8. I believe that hard work combined with prayer produces the best results. 
9. I believe that happiness is more important than pride. 
10. I believe in unlimited possibilities because only God holds the key to my destiny. 
11. I believe in the power of forgiveness. 
12. I believe that spending time with family is good for the soul. 
13. I believe that spending time with God creates a lasting inner peace. 
14. I believe that God is in each and every person. 
15. I believe in the power of kindness and generosity. 
16. I believe that education is for everyone. 
17. I believe that world peace is possible and will be achieved one day. 
18. I believe that everyday may not be good, but there is something good in everyday. 
19. I believe in the power of a smile. 
20. I believe that problems are merely guidelines, not stop signs. 
21. I believe that our imaginations make us infinite. 
22. I believe that pain demands to be felt. 
23. I believe that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it. 
24. I believe that I have nothing to fear as long as I keep Jesus in my heart. 
25. I believe that I cannot survive without God's grace and mercy. 
26. I believe that sharing a meal with someone yields intimacy. 
27. I believe in fighting for social justice. 
28. I believe in chivalry. 
29. I believe that every single person is beautiful. 
30. I believe in standing up for the poor and the lonely. 
31. I believe that death is okay because it unites us with God. 
32. I believe that I am a princess because God, my Father, is a King. 
33. I believe in happy endings. 
34. I believe that every single human life is important and valuable, beginning at the moment of conception. 
35. I believe that I will change the world. 
36. I believe that positive thinking is one of the best cures. 
37. I believe in the power of giving. 
38. I believe that love is stronger than hate. 
39. I believe in second chances. 
40. I believe that I have the ability to help others. 
41. I believe that every single human being has dignity because we were all made in the image and likeness of God. 
42. I believe that I can achieve anything my mind can conceive. 
43. I believe that actions speak louder than words. 
44. I believe in miracles. 
45. I believe that laughter is the best calorie burner. 
46. I believe in flaws because perfection is overrated; one cannot photoshop a personality. 
47. I believe that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. 
48. I believe in the red, white, and blue. 
49. I believe in myself. 
50. I believe in you. 

Dear Future Husband (No. 1)

Dear Future Husband, 

I'm sorry. I'm scared. And I'm excited. 

I'm sorry for my past. For giving my heart away too easily. For having a twisted perception of men. For not having trust. I'm also sorry for my present. For constantly searching for you instead of being patient. For forgetting to pray for you. I'm even sorry for my future. For the mistakes I will make. For letting my emotions drive me at times. For not following through on things I may promise. 

I'm sorry for you. For the temptations you deal with everyday. For the girls who show a little too much. For the lie that being a man means being physically strong and hiding emotions. For the expectations I already have - the ones you feel like you have to meet, but know you won't always be able to. I'm sorry for your past hurt, whatever that may look like. 

More than sorry, I'm scared. I'm scared for the bad times. For not living up to your expectations. For being a bad wife or mother. For fighting. For potential financial stresses, even though I know that ultimately doesn't matter. 

But even more than sorry and scared, I'm excited. I'm excited to meet you. I'm excited for you to experience my awkwardness. I'm excited for the mountains. For the jokes and the laughs. For the happy tears. For our future children. For serving the Lord together. For dancing and singing in the kitchen. For worship and fellowship in the family room. For deep conversations. For working in the mission field. I'm excited for the valleys. For the hardships and the tears. For the trials that will shape our relationship. For the times when we know the only thing pulling us through is our love for the Lord. I'm excited for all of the moments we will share.

I'm sorry and scared and excited. I don't know when I will meet you, but I pray that temptations are small and that the Lord prepares you for my craziness and sensitivity. I pray that He softens your heart, opens your eyes, and prepares you for everything that may come. But most of all, I pray that you lean on Him and love Him more and more each day, more than you will ever love me. 

Love, 
Your Future Wife 

A Letter To My Best Friend

Dear Lauren, 

Did I actually just use your real name??? 

I really cannot find words that are strong enough to express how much you mean to me and how much I thank you for all the things you have done for me and all the times that you were there. I just wanted to let you know how much I need you, and how much you mean to me. 

You're my dearest friend - the person I always turn to with my heart and soul. You're always there for me, ready to offer an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, or a heart to feel. You've been there through both the good times and the bad times. You were my light and warmth when the road got tough. You encouraged me whenever I hesitated. Not all friends stand by you through your joys and sorrows, but you've always been there for me. Thank you.

I've met a lot of people in my life, but I've never met anyone else quite like you. I knew from the start that there was something special about you. You touched my life and wouldn't let go. You brought me unimaginable joy, and you have made me feel like a better person who is able to take on the world. I think we were destined to become friends, and I'm grateful for God who brought us together. True friends are hard to find; that's why I'm glad I've got you. 

You are so special to me, and you cannot be replaced. You are always willing to help no matter what the situation holds. You always support me in everything I do. I hope one day you can lean on me as much as I've leaned on you. Your friendship helps me realize how blessed I truly am. I thank God for bringing you into my life, because I would not be the way I am today without you.

All you have to do is say the word, and I'll be there to lend a hand - day or night, sunny or snowy, happy or sad. I don't know if many people in this world would understand, but to have a friend like you is finding a silver heart in a bag of sand. You are the only one I can tell my soul to, who can relate to me like no other, who I can laugh with to no extent, and who can help me with all the problems I have to face of my life. Never have you turned your back on me, let me down, or told me I wasn't good enough. You crack me up with laughter and touch my heart with your kindness. I love you more than words can say, and I will no matter what happens. 

I look up to you because you are strong, caring, and beautiful (among other things!). I hope you know that I will always be there to listen to you, laugh with you, cry with you, and help you in all the ways that I possibly can. Through smiles and tears, laughter and heartache, you've been a part of my life. Going through this time of not hearing your voice or seeing your smile is rough. I look forward to the time we share, and I cherish all the memories we have already made. 

You always put other people first. Your thoughtfulness is greatly appreciated. You have impacted so many lives, and I would not be the person I am today without you. In times of trouble and in times of thanks, you stood by my side and held me up.You supported me when I was in tears from sadness and from joy. I've never needed anyone in my life as much as I need you now. 

Nobody will ever find another person more special than you are. I would fall apart if anything ever happened to our friendship. Everyday it just grows stronger and stronger. You are worth more than real gold. I could never imagine life without you, because that would be like an overused pencil - extremely dull. You play a major part in my life, and I hold you incredibly close to my heart. I treasure your soul like no other. You've helped me so much during the time I've known you, and I only hope that I can return the favor. 

I love you so so so so much, and I can't wait to see you again soon so we can sing and watch movies and drive around aimlessly together. I miss being the DJ of our car rides... But until then, keep making memories, and call me whenever you need me. Don't miss me too much! 

"Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints on your heart." 

All My Love and Lots of Prayers, 

Lindsay (Your BFF 5ever, because 5 is greater than 4.)

Dragon Tales

Well the poll has closed, and the results show that Dragon Tales was many people's favorite childhood show. For those of you who haven't seen Dragon Tales, it is basically about two children, Emmy and Max, who wish upon a dragon scale and then go to Dragon Land to hang out with their dragon friends. This seems rather innocent and simple, but looking back on Dragon Tales, the show had a few not-so-childlike aspects to it.

1. Dragon Land is a horrible place. In one episode, Max and Emmy are stuck in a castle with their dragon friends. They are not allowed to leave for reasons never made clear. In another episode, they had to run to a treehouse before the purple sticky goo started coming down from a cloud. There are furies in flowers and scary sleeping giants who can be woken up with just a short argument. Dragon Land is a hair-raising and unsafe place for little children to be.

2. The dragons aren't even likable! On the surface, they're just dragons who little kids love. But when you actually look at their characters, they all have flaws.

• Cassie: small, reserved, anxious, insecure, wimpy.
• Ord: overweight and greedy lunkhead who is only concerned with the growling of his stomach.
• Zak and Weezie: two-headed dragon, one of which is pitiful and the other of which is a troublemaker. 
• Quetzal: the elderly father figure who is magical, but if you look at him more closely, he's actually a complete piece of crap, leading me to my third and final point. 

3. The magic in Dragon Land is hoarded by Quetzal! Zak and Weezy constantly irritate each other because they literally share a body, and in one episode, Quetzal pulls out two magical stones and tells them to recite a simple poem while holding them. After a flash of light, they are magically separated. THOSE TWO DRAGONS WERE CONJOINED FROM BIRTH AND YOU'RE JUST SEPARATING THEM NOW?!?! Quetzal could've given them two separate bodies from the start with no pain or danger involved. What kind of misanthrope keeps this miracle to himself???

I guess when we were kids, we enjoyed the pleasant mythical creatures and watching them go on adventures. We never saw the true horror lying beneath the surface of Dragon Tales. 

A Letter To My Ex

To My Ex: 

You may never read this letter, but these are the kindest words I have ever said to you.

You're emotionally abusive and manipulative. You hurt me deeply and you knew it, even though you always denied any any wrongdoing. You sold me a dream, but you failed to mention that I would never be a part of it. You used me so badly that I almost can't believe it actually happened. You gave me nothing. 

You positioned yourself so carefully by making sure you never quite lied or told me an untruth. You had an answer for everything, and on the rare occasion that you didn't, you never quite gave an answer. In this way you were able to walk away from this feeling as though you were good to me. But your behavior and manipulation is reprehensible. Even when we parted ways last, you just said, "Goodnight," expecting me to text you in a week and stroke your ego again and prove how much I like you. All those times it was over, you denied me simple closure. You couldn't even give me that, and of course I came back to try and make it right. Well, this is my closure.

Despite all of this, I remained by your side. I believed in you, and I saw great things in you. I believed your behavior was coming from a place of hurt and pain. The things that happened to you in your past affected you so deeply, and I kept thinking that if I showed you enough kindness, you would come around. I saw so much potential in you. But at the crux of it, you don't think anyone can truly love you for who you are, and so you value people by what you can get out of them. You give as little as possible so that when things fall apart, you never have to feel rejected. You throw yourself into material things that make you feel good for a little while because those things will never dump you. You are living a self-fulfilling prophecy. No one will truly love you like this. I thought I was in love with you, but in reality, I was in love with the man you could be - not the man you think you are.

That being said, I still believe in you. I know how much potential you have. One day I truly hope you will become the man I know you can be, but I will not be waiting around for that. 

You and I will always be unfinished business. There will never be true closure. There are things left unsaid and undone, but they will always be that way. There are certain people who come into your life and leave a mark. You left me with a bruise of longing. Hearing your name will always pull at my heart, but letting you burn me has taught me more lessons than I could express in words. Unfortunately I was never able to make you reciprocate my feelings, but that's okay now because it's over.

This is the kindest letter I could send you because it's a truth that you need to hear. This is my closure. I am completing the unfinished business I have now so that I am free as I move into this next phase of my life unencumbered. I hope you grow up someday. 

Best Wishes, 

The Girl Who Never Left

I Miss My Friends!

I've been missing my friends at home a lot lately, especially these guys. Skyping with LV and Matt today made me realize how far I actually am from home. 

Shannon - you're like a ray of sunshine in my life. You are my glass half-full. I miss you immensely. I hope you're having a great time at NHIA! You make an extremely cute sloth!

Jillybean - I really miss just being around you in general. You get me and I get you...like 2 peas in a pod. We feel the same about literally everyone, and that's why we work. I hope you're not meeting too many weirdos in Bitch (I mean Fitch!) burg.

Matt - I miss your big giant bear hugs and your sass and your everything. I hope you have a killer senior year this year. No matter how much we make fun of each other, I really enjoy our friendship sometimes. Break a leg in both shows, and make sure you Skype me and sing at some point! 

LV - Who woulda thought I would miss you so much? You're literally my other half because without you, I'm just LV, and you're just LV, but together we make up (LV)². I love you more than life. I can't wait until I see you again so I can run up to you and wrap you in a violent hug. Legit whenever we're together we have the best conversations, and like if anyone else heard us we would be put in a mental hospital, and that is why I love you so much. Thanks for being so awesome. 

I love you guys so much. Thanks for being the bestestestest friends everrrrrr. I hope y'all are doing great at your various schools! Can't wait to see y'all again sometime soon! 

Say a Prayer for the Police

Just realized how long it's been since I posted on here! Anyways, life got really busy this past week/weekend. But I had a lot of fun after getting over being sick!

So this weekend I went with my friends to this park on Saturday night (after watching Les Mis!). As a lot of people know, most public parks close at dusk. This one did too, but we "didn't see the sign." SO anyways, we were listening to music and acting like little kids at the playground when we see a police car pull into the parking lot.

"We aren't supposed to be here." "They're gonna ticket my car." "We're all gonna get in trouble." "Let's just get our stuff and go to the cars." "We won't get in as much trouble if we leave."

So we get our stuff and start walking to the cars. The officer rolls down his window and starts talking to us. But he was the most chill cop I have ever met.

"Yeah technically the park closes at dusk, but as long as you guys aren't doing anything I think I can let you stay, but if we get a call that you're bothering someone, I'm gonna have to come run you out."

"Oh okay." "Thank you officer." "So we can stay?!"

"Yeah, just don't get too loud and be smart."

What actually just happened? We met a guy who knew we were just kids wanting to have clean fun. And you know what? Not all police officers are bad people. Generally, they're just looking out for you and trying to keep you safe.

That reminded me to say a prayer for all of the police officers in our country right now. Many of them are not safe, yet they still get out of bed and go to work. Sure, this guy just had to tell some dumb college kids that the park is closed, but many of them are put in risky situations every single day. Say a prayer for them tonight.

Saint Michael, Patron Saint of Police Officers, pray for us.

Energy Drinks?

Well prior to college, the only energy drinks I ever had were Gatorade/PowerAde, Mountain Dew, and one Monster to pretend I was cool when I was maybe 12 years old. I've been a college student for 13 days now, and not only have I had Mountain Dew almost everyday, I've also been drinking coffee and Red Bulls. Coffee isn't too bad; Mountain Dew wakes me up; but they weren't kidding when they said Red Bull gives you wings.

Literally, it makes me feel like I'm high on life. It gives you so much energy. My friend Kiana and I each had a Red Bull, and we were bouncing off the walls and jumping up and down and singing badly while our other friends sat calmly playing the piano and guitar or doing homework. The energy high was great; the bad part was that the energy didn't help me with my school work. It made me overly hyper and distracted me even more.

Studies have shown that one 250 mL can of Red Bull has the same amount of caffeine in it that one cup of coffee has. Health authorities have said it is safe for consumption, making it available in 167 countries. However, the caffeine is not the real problem with the adored energy drink.

The amount of caffeine in a Red Bull leads to irritation and nervousness, and for people whom already experience these issues, this can lead to cardiac problems. The drinks cause mood swings in most people, and consumers can experience hallucinations, paranoia, and other behavior abnormalities. The worst part? Some of these energy drinks have been linked to consumers' deaths due to exceedingly high caffeine levels.

So I'm not about to completely stop drinking Red Bulls, but a Red Bull a day definitely does not keep the doctors away. Drink energy drinks with caution! And make sure you sleep sometimes, too. Your bed is your friend!

I Felt God; I Didn't Know Him.

WARNING: It's boutta get hella Catholic up in here.

So most people who know me think that I've always been "super crazy religious," as some of my friends might say. Like, "There's a Bible quote in her e-mail signature, she's a Jesus freak!" kind of religious. But that actually could not be further from the truth. When I went on my first youth conference before freshman year of high school, I finally realized how real Jesus is. It took me 14 years to truly feel His presence in my life. 14 years. That's an insanely long time to not know Jesus.

But I still didn't really know Him, I just felt Him. Kind of like I knew He was around, but I didn't want to talk to Him. Or maybe I did want to talk to Him, but I didn't know how. Even still, I went to Mass and went on more retreats. I always felt God around me. Every conference I went on, I would come home and tell myself it would be different this time around. I was going to get to know God this time. But I never went through with it. I never started a real prayer life. I was just another Catholic going through the motions at Mass on Sundays. Just another Catholic who went to Reconciliation maybe once or twice a year. Just another Catholic.

So now I'm 18. It's been 18 years, and I've only ever felt God. I've never taken the time to know Him. But I think that's finally going to change. This past weekend I had the amazing opportunity to attend a conference here at my school (Franciscan University of Steubenville) called Encounter. The main idea of the entire day was about encountering God. This notion of "knowing not feeling" was very present around me all day. I went through the motions at Mass that morning and listened to the speakers deliver powerful messages. And then my roommate wanted to go to Reconciliation. Ugh.

The Sacrament of Reconciliation gives me anxiety. Like, awful anxiety. But I knew that I needed to go. It had been over a year since I confessed my sins to God. Over a year since I had felt God's mercy in my life. But that only made this anxiety worse. We waited in line for about an hour. The closer I got, the more sick to my stomach I felt. I was freaking out, thinking the priest would judge me because I couldn't remember the last time I went to confession. But when it was finally my turn, I swallowed and took a deep breath and sat down across from Father Nathan (who is the bomb). It was the most healing sacrament I have ever experienced. I really knew God in that moment, and I knew His mercy. This was a brand new feeling - it took me 18 years to know God's mercy.

I went to Eucharistic Adoration a few hours after that and it was during those few hours where I first started getting to know Jesus. I never fully realized how calming just sitting in the presence of God could be. I didn't only feel God during adoration this time. I knew Him. Or at least, I started to get to know Him.

I went to Sunday Mass this evening. Tonight, August 30, 2015, was the first Mass where I can honestly say I did more than just go through the motions. I consciously thought about each word I was saying and praying. I made an effort to not be distracted by my environment. I didn't just feel as if I just received Jesus through Holy Communion - I knew that I had just received Jesus. I knew that He was in my heart.

And I can't think of a better way to start off my four years at Franciscan than this past weekend, especially knowing that I have a supportive group of friends who love me and care about me. They're the type of people who will help me start a prayer life so I can have an actual relationship with Jesus. They're the type of people who will hold me accountable for my actions and push me to be the best version of myself. They're the type of people who will help me know God.

I had a lot of struggles in high school. I still have a lot of struggles now. But I'm thrilled to embark on this journey of getting to know God, even if it seems difficult, because none of my scars can make Him love me less. I'm filled with joy because of the opportunity I have to get to know God and build a relationship with Him.

Thanks For Being My Friends, Old and New

Hey y'all, first I just wanna thank you guys for reading my blog posts. Never expected 195 page views! This is really cool. But this post is mainly just to talk about how grateful I am for my friends, old and new.

"Make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver, and the other's gold."

I miss my friends from back home everyday. It's hard to keep in touch with everyone because we all have so much going on in our lives right now. We're all on different time schedules, and we don't talk everyday like we used to. But I am forever thankful to my friends who do still talk to me when they have the chance, especially LV, Jillybean, Angela, Rissa, and Shannon. I miss all of you so much, but I'm so excited to hear about all of the amazing adventures you are about to experience during these next few months. I am so proud of all of you, and I'm so lucky to call you guys my friends. I can't wait until the day when I can say, "I knew them when..." because God has some great things in store for all of you.

And now for my new friends here at Franciscan. I never expected to make friends so quickly, and even more than that, I definitely did not expect to feel this close to you guys already. I am so thankful for each and every one of you; you make days when I'm missing home easier. I enjoy every minute with you, whether it's movie nights, praying together, study sessions, or just hanging out doing something stupid. Leah, Jim, Kiana, Bailey, Mark, CJ, Pat - you guys are just straight up awesome. I'm so incredibly excited to spend the next four years with you, going on more adventures and rolling down more hills. Thanks be to God for bringing me to all of you wonderful people.

Well it's like 3:30 a.m. and I'm now exhausted, but this post couldn't wait until tomorrow. I've never felt so joyful yet serene in my entire life, and I just wanted to take a minute and thank all of my friends for being my friends. I love you guys, to the moon and back. Goodnight!

10 Things To Do Before Graduation

As some of my friends back home start their senior year at ECHS, I have been reminiscing about some of my own memories of last year. The boat cruise, football games, homecoming, the play, the musical, concerts, basketball games, senior farewell, the picnic, prom, graduation, and all of the other adventures in between. Senior year goes by so quickly, and all seniors at some point vocalize how they just want to be done. It's inevitable - schoolwork, homework, college essays, college applications, and a whole bunch of other factors make you want to leave high school as soon as possible. But high school is the only time of your life where you get to cultivate friendships in a safe place where you see each other everyday; where you can try new things that you've never done before without being judged; where you start to find out what your true interests and passions are, potentially leading you to a major or career field; and most importantly, where you make memories that tell your story. Memories that will last a lifetime.

Don't wish senior year away too often. Sitting in a college dorm reminds me of how there are some things I either wish I did or wish I did MORE while still in high school. As a result, I'm giving you the best list yet: 10 Things To Do Before Graduation.

1. Try something new, whether it be a sport or a play or an instrument.

2. Make plans with all of your friends to do something at least every other weekend. This is the last year where you'll have "easy access" to each other all of the time. Take advantage of it. You won't realize how much you'll miss your best friend until you're 320 miles away from them.

3. Thank the cafeteria workers. Even though school cafeteria food may be disgusting, they work really hard. A simple "thank you" paired with a smile goes a long way.

4. Do something out of your comfort zone! Go zip lining or rock climbing or cliff jumping or something crazy! Be fearless and reckless.

5. Tell a teacher how much he or she has impacted your life (in a positive way). I had a history teacher, Mrs. Ward, who basically helped shape who I am. She was the toughest teacher I've ever had, but I am eternally grateful to her for everything she has done for me.

6. Go to sports games and musical performances! Your classmates love being cheered on. Every high school student lives for their moment in the spotlight, even if just a few minutes onstage. Support each other instead of fighting with each other.

7. Pray a lot. This is cliché, but prayer is actually really important, and it can get you really far in life. Prayer will make your life more serene, and you will find yourself at peace more often than not.

8. Take pictures! You have dorm room walls to decorate next year!

9. Thank your parents. Hug them a lot. Tell them how much you love them. Don't yell at them or fight with them so often. They are sacrificing a lot for you, even if you don't see it.

10. HAVE FUN! Senior year is probably the best year I've ever experienced in my life. There were so many new and beautiful experiences that I never expected. Make the most of your senior year, because you will be walking away from receiving your diploma faster than you think.

15 Reasons to Appreciate Connecticut

I'm feeling a little homesick today, so I'm thinking it's time to write something about good ol' Connecticut. The funny thing is, while you're living in Connecticut, you don't realize how great it actually is. You don't appreciate anything about the state. You just complain about the lines at the DMV and whine about the high cost of living and cry about how cold and awful the winter is. Oh and trust me, this isn't accusatory of anyone living in Connecticut - I've done it too. Well, the winter part, anyways. The point is, anyone who lives in Connecticut, hates Connecticut. But in reality, when you think about it, it's a pretty awesome place. So I compiled a list for you to read and think about either why you should be grateful that you live in Connecticut, or why you should pack up your life and move to Connecticut!

1. CT is part of New England but close to New York, so you get the bestttttt of both worlds! Chill it out, take it slow...then you rock out the show! You get the besttttt of both worlds....Hannah Montana, anyone?

2. We're responsible for literal GENIUSES. We got Mark Twain, Candace Bushnell, Suzanne Collins, Charlotte Perkins Gilman, Arthur Miller, and Maurice Sendak, just to name a few. All the best people are from CT.

3. Not to mention the ATHLETIC STARS like Dorothy Hamill, Steve Young, and Bobby Valentine.

4. Connecticut is home to one of the best state schools in the country, not to mention it's the same school that has the most NCAA championships.....GO HUSKIES!

5. But not only is it home to UConn! We have Yale as well - one of the precious Ivies that people hail from all over the world to attend.

6. In the fall, aka the best season of the year, you can go apple-picking, enjoy some apple cider, or explore different pumpkin patches.

7. When the weather cooperates during the summer, there are beautiful coastlines and gorgeous beaches to visit!

8. Have you seen the breathtaking cottages that you can stay in? Ugh.

9. Also, GO TO MYSTIC. It's pretty awesome, and it's in CT, thus CT is pretty awesome.

10. The lighthouses and various views are picture perfect and literally look identical to ones you see in paintings.

11. There's so much history in Connecticut. There's abolitionist and suffragist homes, the Mark Twain house, Nathan Hale Homestead, and even Native American settlements.

12. Are you a fan of Gilmore Girls? Or Weeds or Who's the Boss? All of those take place - guess where! - in the best state of the country!

13. And have you seen how our guys dress? Pastel colors, popped collars, and boat shoes - if that doesn't at least make us the best-looking state, I don't know what will.

14. A lot of Broadway performers get their starts in Connecticut, especially through Goodspeed Opera House and Yale Repertory Theatre.

15. Last but not least, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT CONNECTICUT IN THE FALL?! IT'S FREAKIN GORGEOUS. The foliage is probably the most breathtaking thing I've ever looked at. So look at it and take it all in while you breathe in the crisp, fall air and drink hot cider. Because eventually, you'll end up like me - 9 hours away from Connecticut where everything is either plain & green or extremely freezing cold.