Finals Week!

Finals are here. But don't panic! Well, panic. But keep these 5 quotes in mind while you breathe and study through the panic! 

1. Hard work spotlights the character of people. Some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their notes, and some don't turn up at all. 

2. Obsessed is just a word that the lazy use to describe the dedicated. 

3. You are capable of more than you know. 

4. Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts. 

5. Pain is temporary; GPA is forever. 

Now, here we go with Lindsay's (The Compulsive Study-er and Overachiever) Tips for Finals Week! 

• For every 50 minutes you study, take a 10 minute break. 
• Drink coffee. 
• Read Spark Notes and watch Thug Notes - you do NOT have time to read that 300-page book that you put off all semester. 
• Make flash cards and outlines to organize your thoughts while studying. 
• Take legitimate study breaks to spend time with your friends. 
• Don't forget to eat meals! 
• Try and find some time to sleep in between studying and packing and cleaning. 
• Wear comfy but chic clothes - you don't want to be uncomfortable while taking your finals, but you don't want to take finals in clothes you'll fall asleep in. For girls: wear a pair of leggings with a cute top/cardigan and easy shoes. Keep your hair and make-up simple. For guys: sorry, I got nothing...but y'all always seem comfy. 
• Don't forget to PRAY! Jesus is always there for you, even during finals week. 

Good luck on finals, and may the curve be ever in your favor!

A Letter to a Toxic Former Friend

I'm stronger than you ever thought I'd be.

Dear Toxic Former Friend, 

You hurt me. You bullied me. You manipulated and embarrassed me. You shoved me down into my lowest of lows. You emotionally tortured me. You made me not want to live anymore. Yet here I am. 

I wonder if you even comprehend what you are doing. You are making the people you call your 'friends' feel like lesser beings so that you can raise yourself up and boost your own self-worth. There were times when I thought that friendship was supposed to be like that; they dealt with your drama, and you dealt with theirs. However, the spotlight is always on you, and the rest of us are only here for your entertainment. 

People asked me why I chose to be friends with you. They wondered how I could bear being around you all the time. And you know what? I always stood up for you. Always. Even when it seemed like I had no reason to stick around anymore, like I was just a chew toy, I was there for you. I was a friend, even if you were not. 

Looking back at this so-called "friendship" and evaluating it for what it truly was, I realize that it's time to move on from this relationship and the pain that I felt as a result of it. At the same time, with ending this friendship, I recognize how much I have grown as an individual, and how this toxic friendship may have even changed me for the better. While you may have attempted to belittle the people you call "friends" by filling our minds with anxiety and our lives with drama, I want to thank you. 

Thank you for teaching me that I do not need toxic people like you in my life. Thank you for empowering me to no longer sit back and take demands and insults, and to finally stand up for myself and my own opinions. Thank you for making me realize who my true friends are, the ones who really do have my back and care about me, rather than selfish people like you who only worry about themselves. Thank you for allowing me to discover my self-worth and all I am capable of doing. After the hurricane of drama died down, I finally saw that the real problem was not me at all; the real problem is you and your actions. 

If it weren't for you, I would not be able to spot other toxic people from a mile away the way that I can now. I am free from the weights dragging me down to feel lesser than anybody else, and I am happier than I have been in a long time. Thank you for teaching me these life lessons; now, I have some life lessons for you, so listen up. Friends don't turn on each other. They don't call each other names that are too hurtful to even be mentioned. Lying, deceitful, gossiping personalities aren't attractive. Lastly, karma is a bitch. Good luck with that. 

You broke my heart. You tried to shatter me, but you didn't. I am stronger than I ever was because I have found that I am able to hit rock bottom, and still get back up again. Thank you for saving me from becoming a toxic friend. Life is short, and it's time to make a clean break from this toxic friendship so I can move on to something better. 

Sincerely, 
The Girl You Used 

Sitting In Class

Yo so I'm currently sitting in my last biology class for the semester. He's talking about biomes right now, but I already know this stuff thanks to Mr. Beauregard at SMS in middle school, so I'm crazy bored. 

Did you know chaparral was a biome? I didn't know that one so I paid attention for a few minutes. Chaparrals are found in many coastal regions that border deserts. Who knew? 

So this week has been great. I've been one of the calmest people out of all of my friends. I finished my paper (due tomorrow) on Tuesday. I finished my reading for all of my finals on Wednesday. I plan on finishing my biology study guide right after this class ends, and my sociology study guide will be finished before I go to bed tonight. I'm totally on target for finals, and I could not be happier about that. 

HERE WE GO FINALS WEEK!!

A Letter To My High School Teachers

To All Of My High School Teachers - Mrs. Ward, Mrs. Regan, Deacon Giard, Mrs. Poirier, Ms. Coan, Ms. Moros, Mr. Brudz, Ms. Stoyles, Mrs. Reilly, Ms. Mannion, Mrs. Janecko, Ms. Casey, Mrs. Shattuck, Mr. Healey, Mrs. Hicks, Ms. Milas, Mrs. Andrews, Mr. Amidon, Mr. Menner, Ms. Raffles, Mrs. Jacobs, Mr. Hammer, Ms. Ridel, Mrs. Gilbert, Coach Calande, Mrs. Heaney, Mr. McConville, and Mrs. Marcucio: 

Let me start off by saying thank you. I was very lucky to have people in my life so dedicated to their jobs. I was fortunate to learn from each of you. There is something I took away from each class - some good and some bad. Most of you taught me lessons that I will carry on throughout the rest of my life. I graduated with more than grades on my report card. I left with values and life lessons that could never be graded. 

I am writing this letter now because I did not realize the impact you had on my life until you were all gone. Let this be a reminder to all of your current students: you are spoiled, just like I was. High school teachers were adults in my life that cared about me and wanted the best for not only me, but all of their students. 

I want to thank you for being difficult teachers. I now appreciate all of your challenges because it prepared me for the level of college work. At the time, I hated when I had a paper and two tests due on the same day, but now I am grateful for those sleepless nights. It was conditioning for my higher education. 

This letter is addressed to all of my teachers, even the ones I did not particularly "like" in class. You helped me focus on the content of the class and not the teacher; it is impossible to like everyone. Not every professor is going to be my favorite, and the same goes for the subject. I may not be interested in the course content, but that does not excuse me from not doing well or trying in the class, and I learned that thanks to you. 

For the teachers who truly loved their job, thank you. It was noticeable that you cared about the subject matter and that you wanted each of your students to care as well. You respected your students, and in return, you gained respect from them. I never wanted to let you down. You helped me try very hard in every aspect of your classes, and you expected nothing less than my best efforts. Thank you for motivating me to try my hardest with all parts of school. You all helped me become a better student in the quick four years I spent in high school. 

Thank you for guiding me in the right direction, for helping me find what I love, and for teaching what you love. All of your students have benefited and will continue to benefit. I wish you the best of luck with the rest of this school year. Try not to miss me as much as I miss all of you. 

Thank you for everything. 

Love and Blessings, 
Your High School Graduate 

50 Things I Believe

During senior year, I had to do a project for my religion class in which I had to create a list of 50 things I believe in. After coming upon this list recently, I have revised it slightly, therefore making it more of who I am now as a sophomore in college. The following list states 50 things that I currently believe in. 

1. I believe in God. 
2. I believe that God has a plan and a purpose for me. 
3. I believe that friendship cures sadness. 
4. I believe that music creates happiness.
5. I believe that dancing is good for the soul, no matter how "badly" it is done. 
6. I believe that life is about making mistakes and learning from them. 
7. I believe in the power of a good attitude. 
8. I believe that hard work combined with prayer produces the best results. 
9. I believe that happiness is more important than pride. 
10. I believe in unlimited possibilities because only God holds the key to my destiny. 
11. I believe in the power of forgiveness. 
12. I believe that spending time with family is good for the soul. 
13. I believe that spending time with God creates a lasting inner peace. 
14. I believe that God is in each and every person. 
15. I believe in the power of kindness and generosity. 
16. I believe that education is for everyone. 
17. I believe that world peace is possible and will be achieved one day. 
18. I believe that everyday may not be good, but there is something good in everyday. 
19. I believe in the power of a smile. 
20. I believe that problems are merely guidelines, not stop signs. 
21. I believe that our imaginations make us infinite. 
22. I believe that pain demands to be felt. 
23. I believe that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it. 
24. I believe that I have nothing to fear as long as I keep Jesus in my heart. 
25. I believe that I cannot survive without God's grace and mercy. 
26. I believe that sharing a meal with someone yields intimacy. 
27. I believe in fighting for social justice. 
28. I believe in chivalry. 
29. I believe that every single person is beautiful. 
30. I believe in standing up for the poor and the lonely. 
31. I believe that death is okay because it unites us with God. 
32. I believe that I am a princess because God, my Father, is a King. 
33. I believe in happy endings. 
34. I believe that every single human life is important and valuable, beginning at the moment of conception. 
35. I believe that I will change the world. 
36. I believe that positive thinking is one of the best cures. 
37. I believe in the power of giving. 
38. I believe that love is stronger than hate. 
39. I believe in second chances. 
40. I believe that I have the ability to help others. 
41. I believe that every single human being has dignity because we were all made in the image and likeness of God. 
42. I believe that I can achieve anything my mind can conceive. 
43. I believe that actions speak louder than words. 
44. I believe in miracles. 
45. I believe that laughter is the best calorie burner. 
46. I believe in flaws because perfection is overrated; one cannot photoshop a personality. 
47. I believe that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. 
48. I believe in the red, white, and blue. 
49. I believe in myself. 
50. I believe in you. 

Dear Future Husband (No. 1)

Dear Future Husband, 

I'm sorry. I'm scared. And I'm excited. 

I'm sorry for my past. For giving my heart away too easily. For having a twisted perception of men. For not having trust. I'm also sorry for my present. For constantly searching for you instead of being patient. For forgetting to pray for you. I'm even sorry for my future. For the mistakes I will make. For letting my emotions drive me at times. For not following through on things I may promise. 

I'm sorry for you. For the temptations you deal with everyday. For the girls who show a little too much. For the lie that being a man means being physically strong and hiding emotions. For the expectations I already have - the ones you feel like you have to meet, but know you won't always be able to. I'm sorry for your past hurt, whatever that may look like. 

More than sorry, I'm scared. I'm scared for the bad times. For not living up to your expectations. For being a bad wife or mother. For fighting. For potential financial stresses, even though I know that ultimately doesn't matter. 

But even more than sorry and scared, I'm excited. I'm excited to meet you. I'm excited for you to experience my awkwardness. I'm excited for the mountains. For the jokes and the laughs. For the happy tears. For our future children. For serving the Lord together. For dancing and singing in the kitchen. For worship and fellowship in the family room. For deep conversations. For working in the mission field. I'm excited for the valleys. For the hardships and the tears. For the trials that will shape our relationship. For the times when we know the only thing pulling us through is our love for the Lord. I'm excited for all of the moments we will share.

I'm sorry and scared and excited. I don't know when I will meet you, but I pray that temptations are small and that the Lord prepares you for my craziness and sensitivity. I pray that He softens your heart, opens your eyes, and prepares you for everything that may come. But most of all, I pray that you lean on Him and love Him more and more each day, more than you will ever love me. 

Love, 
Your Future Wife 

A Letter To My Best Friend

Dear Lauren, 

Did I actually just use your real name??? 

I really cannot find words that are strong enough to express how much you mean to me and how much I thank you for all the things you have done for me and all the times that you were there. I just wanted to let you know how much I need you, and how much you mean to me. 

You're my dearest friend - the person I always turn to with my heart and soul. You're always there for me, ready to offer an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, or a heart to feel. You've been there through both the good times and the bad times. You were my light and warmth when the road got tough. You encouraged me whenever I hesitated. Not all friends stand by you through your joys and sorrows, but you've always been there for me. Thank you.

I've met a lot of people in my life, but I've never met anyone else quite like you. I knew from the start that there was something special about you. You touched my life and wouldn't let go. You brought me unimaginable joy, and you have made me feel like a better person who is able to take on the world. I think we were destined to become friends, and I'm grateful for God who brought us together. True friends are hard to find; that's why I'm glad I've got you. 

You are so special to me, and you cannot be replaced. You are always willing to help no matter what the situation holds. You always support me in everything I do. I hope one day you can lean on me as much as I've leaned on you. Your friendship helps me realize how blessed I truly am. I thank God for bringing you into my life, because I would not be the way I am today without you.

All you have to do is say the word, and I'll be there to lend a hand - day or night, sunny or snowy, happy or sad. I don't know if many people in this world would understand, but to have a friend like you is finding a silver heart in a bag of sand. You are the only one I can tell my soul to, who can relate to me like no other, who I can laugh with to no extent, and who can help me with all the problems I have to face of my life. Never have you turned your back on me, let me down, or told me I wasn't good enough. You crack me up with laughter and touch my heart with your kindness. I love you more than words can say, and I will no matter what happens. 

I look up to you because you are strong, caring, and beautiful (among other things!). I hope you know that I will always be there to listen to you, laugh with you, cry with you, and help you in all the ways that I possibly can. Through smiles and tears, laughter and heartache, you've been a part of my life. Going through this time of not hearing your voice or seeing your smile is rough. I look forward to the time we share, and I cherish all the memories we have already made. 

You always put other people first. Your thoughtfulness is greatly appreciated. You have impacted so many lives, and I would not be the person I am today without you. In times of trouble and in times of thanks, you stood by my side and held me up.You supported me when I was in tears from sadness and from joy. I've never needed anyone in my life as much as I need you now. 

Nobody will ever find another person more special than you are. I would fall apart if anything ever happened to our friendship. Everyday it just grows stronger and stronger. You are worth more than real gold. I could never imagine life without you, because that would be like an overused pencil - extremely dull. You play a major part in my life, and I hold you incredibly close to my heart. I treasure your soul like no other. You've helped me so much during the time I've known you, and I only hope that I can return the favor. 

I love you so so so so much, and I can't wait to see you again soon so we can sing and watch movies and drive around aimlessly together. I miss being the DJ of our car rides... But until then, keep making memories, and call me whenever you need me. Don't miss me too much! 

"Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints on your heart." 

All My Love and Lots of Prayers, 

Lindsay (Your BFF 5ever, because 5 is greater than 4.)

Say a Prayer for the Police

Just realized how long it's been since I posted on here! Anyways, life got really busy this past week/weekend. But I had a lot of fun after getting over being sick!

So this weekend I went with my friends to this park on Saturday night (after watching Les Mis!). As a lot of people know, most public parks close at dusk. This one did too, but we "didn't see the sign." SO anyways, we were listening to music and acting like little kids at the playground when we see a police car pull into the parking lot.

"We aren't supposed to be here." "They're gonna ticket my car." "We're all gonna get in trouble." "Let's just get our stuff and go to the cars." "We won't get in as much trouble if we leave."

So we get our stuff and start walking to the cars. The officer rolls down his window and starts talking to us. But he was the most chill cop I have ever met.

"Yeah technically the park closes at dusk, but as long as you guys aren't doing anything I think I can let you stay, but if we get a call that you're bothering someone, I'm gonna have to come run you out."

"Oh okay." "Thank you officer." "So we can stay?!"

"Yeah, just don't get too loud and be smart."

What actually just happened? We met a guy who knew we were just kids wanting to have clean fun. And you know what? Not all police officers are bad people. Generally, they're just looking out for you and trying to keep you safe.

That reminded me to say a prayer for all of the police officers in our country right now. Many of them are not safe, yet they still get out of bed and go to work. Sure, this guy just had to tell some dumb college kids that the park is closed, but many of them are put in risky situations every single day. Say a prayer for them tonight.

Saint Michael, Patron Saint of Police Officers, pray for us.

I Felt God; I Didn't Know Him.

WARNING: It's boutta get hella Catholic up in here.

So most people who know me think that I've always been "super crazy religious," as some of my friends might say. Like, "There's a Bible quote in her e-mail signature, she's a Jesus freak!" kind of religious. But that actually could not be further from the truth. When I went on my first youth conference before freshman year of high school, I finally realized how real Jesus is. It took me 14 years to truly feel His presence in my life. 14 years. That's an insanely long time to not know Jesus.

But I still didn't really know Him, I just felt Him. Kind of like I knew He was around, but I didn't want to talk to Him. Or maybe I did want to talk to Him, but I didn't know how. Even still, I went to Mass and went on more retreats. I always felt God around me. Every conference I went on, I would come home and tell myself it would be different this time around. I was going to get to know God this time. But I never went through with it. I never started a real prayer life. I was just another Catholic going through the motions at Mass on Sundays. Just another Catholic who went to Reconciliation maybe once or twice a year. Just another Catholic.

So now I'm 18. It's been 18 years, and I've only ever felt God. I've never taken the time to know Him. But I think that's finally going to change. This past weekend I had the amazing opportunity to attend a conference here at my school (Franciscan University of Steubenville) called Encounter. The main idea of the entire day was about encountering God. This notion of "knowing not feeling" was very present around me all day. I went through the motions at Mass that morning and listened to the speakers deliver powerful messages. And then my roommate wanted to go to Reconciliation. Ugh.

The Sacrament of Reconciliation gives me anxiety. Like, awful anxiety. But I knew that I needed to go. It had been over a year since I confessed my sins to God. Over a year since I had felt God's mercy in my life. But that only made this anxiety worse. We waited in line for about an hour. The closer I got, the more sick to my stomach I felt. I was freaking out, thinking the priest would judge me because I couldn't remember the last time I went to confession. But when it was finally my turn, I swallowed and took a deep breath and sat down across from Father Nathan (who is the bomb). It was the most healing sacrament I have ever experienced. I really knew God in that moment, and I knew His mercy. This was a brand new feeling - it took me 18 years to know God's mercy.

I went to Eucharistic Adoration a few hours after that and it was during those few hours where I first started getting to know Jesus. I never fully realized how calming just sitting in the presence of God could be. I didn't only feel God during adoration this time. I knew Him. Or at least, I started to get to know Him.

I went to Sunday Mass this evening. Tonight, August 30, 2015, was the first Mass where I can honestly say I did more than just go through the motions. I consciously thought about each word I was saying and praying. I made an effort to not be distracted by my environment. I didn't just feel as if I just received Jesus through Holy Communion - I knew that I had just received Jesus. I knew that He was in my heart.

And I can't think of a better way to start off my four years at Franciscan than this past weekend, especially knowing that I have a supportive group of friends who love me and care about me. They're the type of people who will help me start a prayer life so I can have an actual relationship with Jesus. They're the type of people who will hold me accountable for my actions and push me to be the best version of myself. They're the type of people who will help me know God.

I had a lot of struggles in high school. I still have a lot of struggles now. But I'm thrilled to embark on this journey of getting to know God, even if it seems difficult, because none of my scars can make Him love me less. I'm filled with joy because of the opportunity I have to get to know God and build a relationship with Him.

Thanks For Being My Friends, Old and New

Hey y'all, first I just wanna thank you guys for reading my blog posts. Never expected 195 page views! This is really cool. But this post is mainly just to talk about how grateful I am for my friends, old and new.

"Make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver, and the other's gold."

I miss my friends from back home everyday. It's hard to keep in touch with everyone because we all have so much going on in our lives right now. We're all on different time schedules, and we don't talk everyday like we used to. But I am forever thankful to my friends who do still talk to me when they have the chance, especially LV, Jillybean, Angela, Rissa, and Shannon. I miss all of you so much, but I'm so excited to hear about all of the amazing adventures you are about to experience during these next few months. I am so proud of all of you, and I'm so lucky to call you guys my friends. I can't wait until the day when I can say, "I knew them when..." because God has some great things in store for all of you.

And now for my new friends here at Franciscan. I never expected to make friends so quickly, and even more than that, I definitely did not expect to feel this close to you guys already. I am so thankful for each and every one of you; you make days when I'm missing home easier. I enjoy every minute with you, whether it's movie nights, praying together, study sessions, or just hanging out doing something stupid. Leah, Jim, Kiana, Bailey, Mark, CJ, Pat - you guys are just straight up awesome. I'm so incredibly excited to spend the next four years with you, going on more adventures and rolling down more hills. Thanks be to God for bringing me to all of you wonderful people.

Well it's like 3:30 a.m. and I'm now exhausted, but this post couldn't wait until tomorrow. I've never felt so joyful yet serene in my entire life, and I just wanted to take a minute and thank all of my friends for being my friends. I love you guys, to the moon and back. Goodnight!

10 Things To Do Before Graduation

As some of my friends back home start their senior year at ECHS, I have been reminiscing about some of my own memories of last year. The boat cruise, football games, homecoming, the play, the musical, concerts, basketball games, senior farewell, the picnic, prom, graduation, and all of the other adventures in between. Senior year goes by so quickly, and all seniors at some point vocalize how they just want to be done. It's inevitable - schoolwork, homework, college essays, college applications, and a whole bunch of other factors make you want to leave high school as soon as possible. But high school is the only time of your life where you get to cultivate friendships in a safe place where you see each other everyday; where you can try new things that you've never done before without being judged; where you start to find out what your true interests and passions are, potentially leading you to a major or career field; and most importantly, where you make memories that tell your story. Memories that will last a lifetime.

Don't wish senior year away too often. Sitting in a college dorm reminds me of how there are some things I either wish I did or wish I did MORE while still in high school. As a result, I'm giving you the best list yet: 10 Things To Do Before Graduation.

1. Try something new, whether it be a sport or a play or an instrument.

2. Make plans with all of your friends to do something at least every other weekend. This is the last year where you'll have "easy access" to each other all of the time. Take advantage of it. You won't realize how much you'll miss your best friend until you're 320 miles away from them.

3. Thank the cafeteria workers. Even though school cafeteria food may be disgusting, they work really hard. A simple "thank you" paired with a smile goes a long way.

4. Do something out of your comfort zone! Go zip lining or rock climbing or cliff jumping or something crazy! Be fearless and reckless.

5. Tell a teacher how much he or she has impacted your life (in a positive way). I had a history teacher, Mrs. Ward, who basically helped shape who I am. She was the toughest teacher I've ever had, but I am eternally grateful to her for everything she has done for me.

6. Go to sports games and musical performances! Your classmates love being cheered on. Every high school student lives for their moment in the spotlight, even if just a few minutes onstage. Support each other instead of fighting with each other.

7. Pray a lot. This is cliché, but prayer is actually really important, and it can get you really far in life. Prayer will make your life more serene, and you will find yourself at peace more often than not.

8. Take pictures! You have dorm room walls to decorate next year!

9. Thank your parents. Hug them a lot. Tell them how much you love them. Don't yell at them or fight with them so often. They are sacrificing a lot for you, even if you don't see it.

10. HAVE FUN! Senior year is probably the best year I've ever experienced in my life. There were so many new and beautiful experiences that I never expected. Make the most of your senior year, because you will be walking away from receiving your diploma faster than you think.

Welcome to My Life

Well I never thought I would become a blogger...but here I am, sitting on a bed in a college dorm eating Easy Mac that tastes like mush, writing my first blog post. Welcome to my life as a college student.

Now don't think I'm a junior in college who has done this whole thing before! Yup, I'm a freshman. I haven't even been on campus for a week yet. But memories have been made so quickly it has been hard to keep up with them all. So now I'm writing them down - all of the adventures, funny stories, friendships, everything.

Speaking of adventures, have you ever ridden in a Jeep Wrangler with all of the sides and roof off while going 70 mph on a highway? If you've done that, have you done it while squished in the backseat in between two people? And if you can still say yes to that, have you done it with people whom you just met 4 days before? Yeah. That happened.

And guess what?

It was a blast.

Creating new friendships isn't easy. It never will be. But spontaneously going on adventures with strangers leads to bonding experiences that no one can forget. And thus, friendships are born.

Also, did I mention Mean Girls? Maybe I should save that for another post.....

Talk to y'all again soon!

And thanks for reading. Hope you come to love and enjoy Lindsay Land!