A Letter To My Best Friend

Dear Lauren, 

Did I actually just use your real name??? 

I really cannot find words that are strong enough to express how much you mean to me and how much I thank you for all the things you have done for me and all the times that you were there. I just wanted to let you know how much I need you, and how much you mean to me. 

You're my dearest friend - the person I always turn to with my heart and soul. You're always there for me, ready to offer an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, or a heart to feel. You've been there through both the good times and the bad times. You were my light and warmth when the road got tough. You encouraged me whenever I hesitated. Not all friends stand by you through your joys and sorrows, but you've always been there for me. Thank you.

I've met a lot of people in my life, but I've never met anyone else quite like you. I knew from the start that there was something special about you. You touched my life and wouldn't let go. You brought me unimaginable joy, and you have made me feel like a better person who is able to take on the world. I think we were destined to become friends, and I'm grateful for God who brought us together. True friends are hard to find; that's why I'm glad I've got you. 

You are so special to me, and you cannot be replaced. You are always willing to help no matter what the situation holds. You always support me in everything I do. I hope one day you can lean on me as much as I've leaned on you. Your friendship helps me realize how blessed I truly am. I thank God for bringing you into my life, because I would not be the way I am today without you.

All you have to do is say the word, and I'll be there to lend a hand - day or night, sunny or snowy, happy or sad. I don't know if many people in this world would understand, but to have a friend like you is finding a silver heart in a bag of sand. You are the only one I can tell my soul to, who can relate to me like no other, who I can laugh with to no extent, and who can help me with all the problems I have to face of my life. Never have you turned your back on me, let me down, or told me I wasn't good enough. You crack me up with laughter and touch my heart with your kindness. I love you more than words can say, and I will no matter what happens. 

I look up to you because you are strong, caring, and beautiful (among other things!). I hope you know that I will always be there to listen to you, laugh with you, cry with you, and help you in all the ways that I possibly can. Through smiles and tears, laughter and heartache, you've been a part of my life. Going through this time of not hearing your voice or seeing your smile is rough. I look forward to the time we share, and I cherish all the memories we have already made. 

You always put other people first. Your thoughtfulness is greatly appreciated. You have impacted so many lives, and I would not be the person I am today without you. In times of trouble and in times of thanks, you stood by my side and held me up.You supported me when I was in tears from sadness and from joy. I've never needed anyone in my life as much as I need you now. 

Nobody will ever find another person more special than you are. I would fall apart if anything ever happened to our friendship. Everyday it just grows stronger and stronger. You are worth more than real gold. I could never imagine life without you, because that would be like an overused pencil - extremely dull. You play a major part in my life, and I hold you incredibly close to my heart. I treasure your soul like no other. You've helped me so much during the time I've known you, and I only hope that I can return the favor. 

I love you so so so so much, and I can't wait to see you again soon so we can sing and watch movies and drive around aimlessly together. I miss being the DJ of our car rides... But until then, keep making memories, and call me whenever you need me. Don't miss me too much! 

"Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints on your heart." 

All My Love and Lots of Prayers, 

Lindsay (Your BFF 5ever, because 5 is greater than 4.)

I Miss My Friends!

I've been missing my friends at home a lot lately, especially these guys. Skyping with LV and Matt today made me realize how far I actually am from home. 

Shannon - you're like a ray of sunshine in my life. You are my glass half-full. I miss you immensely. I hope you're having a great time at NHIA! You make an extremely cute sloth!

Jillybean - I really miss just being around you in general. You get me and I get you...like 2 peas in a pod. We feel the same about literally everyone, and that's why we work. I hope you're not meeting too many weirdos in Bitch (I mean Fitch!) burg.

Matt - I miss your big giant bear hugs and your sass and your everything. I hope you have a killer senior year this year. No matter how much we make fun of each other, I really enjoy our friendship sometimes. Break a leg in both shows, and make sure you Skype me and sing at some point! 

LV - Who woulda thought I would miss you so much? You're literally my other half because without you, I'm just LV, and you're just LV, but together we make up (LV)². I love you more than life. I can't wait until I see you again so I can run up to you and wrap you in a violent hug. Legit whenever we're together we have the best conversations, and like if anyone else heard us we would be put in a mental hospital, and that is why I love you so much. Thanks for being so awesome. 

I love you guys so much. Thanks for being the bestestestest friends everrrrrr. I hope y'all are doing great at your various schools! Can't wait to see y'all again sometime soon! 

Say a Prayer for the Police

Just realized how long it's been since I posted on here! Anyways, life got really busy this past week/weekend. But I had a lot of fun after getting over being sick!

So this weekend I went with my friends to this park on Saturday night (after watching Les Mis!). As a lot of people know, most public parks close at dusk. This one did too, but we "didn't see the sign." SO anyways, we were listening to music and acting like little kids at the playground when we see a police car pull into the parking lot.

"We aren't supposed to be here." "They're gonna ticket my car." "We're all gonna get in trouble." "Let's just get our stuff and go to the cars." "We won't get in as much trouble if we leave."

So we get our stuff and start walking to the cars. The officer rolls down his window and starts talking to us. But he was the most chill cop I have ever met.

"Yeah technically the park closes at dusk, but as long as you guys aren't doing anything I think I can let you stay, but if we get a call that you're bothering someone, I'm gonna have to come run you out."

"Oh okay." "Thank you officer." "So we can stay?!"

"Yeah, just don't get too loud and be smart."

What actually just happened? We met a guy who knew we were just kids wanting to have clean fun. And you know what? Not all police officers are bad people. Generally, they're just looking out for you and trying to keep you safe.

That reminded me to say a prayer for all of the police officers in our country right now. Many of them are not safe, yet they still get out of bed and go to work. Sure, this guy just had to tell some dumb college kids that the park is closed, but many of them are put in risky situations every single day. Say a prayer for them tonight.

Saint Michael, Patron Saint of Police Officers, pray for us.

I Felt God; I Didn't Know Him.

WARNING: It's boutta get hella Catholic up in here.

So most people who know me think that I've always been "super crazy religious," as some of my friends might say. Like, "There's a Bible quote in her e-mail signature, she's a Jesus freak!" kind of religious. But that actually could not be further from the truth. When I went on my first youth conference before freshman year of high school, I finally realized how real Jesus is. It took me 14 years to truly feel His presence in my life. 14 years. That's an insanely long time to not know Jesus.

But I still didn't really know Him, I just felt Him. Kind of like I knew He was around, but I didn't want to talk to Him. Or maybe I did want to talk to Him, but I didn't know how. Even still, I went to Mass and went on more retreats. I always felt God around me. Every conference I went on, I would come home and tell myself it would be different this time around. I was going to get to know God this time. But I never went through with it. I never started a real prayer life. I was just another Catholic going through the motions at Mass on Sundays. Just another Catholic who went to Reconciliation maybe once or twice a year. Just another Catholic.

So now I'm 18. It's been 18 years, and I've only ever felt God. I've never taken the time to know Him. But I think that's finally going to change. This past weekend I had the amazing opportunity to attend a conference here at my school (Franciscan University of Steubenville) called Encounter. The main idea of the entire day was about encountering God. This notion of "knowing not feeling" was very present around me all day. I went through the motions at Mass that morning and listened to the speakers deliver powerful messages. And then my roommate wanted to go to Reconciliation. Ugh.

The Sacrament of Reconciliation gives me anxiety. Like, awful anxiety. But I knew that I needed to go. It had been over a year since I confessed my sins to God. Over a year since I had felt God's mercy in my life. But that only made this anxiety worse. We waited in line for about an hour. The closer I got, the more sick to my stomach I felt. I was freaking out, thinking the priest would judge me because I couldn't remember the last time I went to confession. But when it was finally my turn, I swallowed and took a deep breath and sat down across from Father Nathan (who is the bomb). It was the most healing sacrament I have ever experienced. I really knew God in that moment, and I knew His mercy. This was a brand new feeling - it took me 18 years to know God's mercy.

I went to Eucharistic Adoration a few hours after that and it was during those few hours where I first started getting to know Jesus. I never fully realized how calming just sitting in the presence of God could be. I didn't only feel God during adoration this time. I knew Him. Or at least, I started to get to know Him.

I went to Sunday Mass this evening. Tonight, August 30, 2015, was the first Mass where I can honestly say I did more than just go through the motions. I consciously thought about each word I was saying and praying. I made an effort to not be distracted by my environment. I didn't just feel as if I just received Jesus through Holy Communion - I knew that I had just received Jesus. I knew that He was in my heart.

And I can't think of a better way to start off my four years at Franciscan than this past weekend, especially knowing that I have a supportive group of friends who love me and care about me. They're the type of people who will help me start a prayer life so I can have an actual relationship with Jesus. They're the type of people who will hold me accountable for my actions and push me to be the best version of myself. They're the type of people who will help me know God.

I had a lot of struggles in high school. I still have a lot of struggles now. But I'm thrilled to embark on this journey of getting to know God, even if it seems difficult, because none of my scars can make Him love me less. I'm filled with joy because of the opportunity I have to get to know God and build a relationship with Him.

Thanks For Being My Friends, Old and New

Hey y'all, first I just wanna thank you guys for reading my blog posts. Never expected 195 page views! This is really cool. But this post is mainly just to talk about how grateful I am for my friends, old and new.

"Make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver, and the other's gold."

I miss my friends from back home everyday. It's hard to keep in touch with everyone because we all have so much going on in our lives right now. We're all on different time schedules, and we don't talk everyday like we used to. But I am forever thankful to my friends who do still talk to me when they have the chance, especially LV, Jillybean, Angela, Rissa, and Shannon. I miss all of you so much, but I'm so excited to hear about all of the amazing adventures you are about to experience during these next few months. I am so proud of all of you, and I'm so lucky to call you guys my friends. I can't wait until the day when I can say, "I knew them when..." because God has some great things in store for all of you.

And now for my new friends here at Franciscan. I never expected to make friends so quickly, and even more than that, I definitely did not expect to feel this close to you guys already. I am so thankful for each and every one of you; you make days when I'm missing home easier. I enjoy every minute with you, whether it's movie nights, praying together, study sessions, or just hanging out doing something stupid. Leah, Jim, Kiana, Bailey, Mark, CJ, Pat - you guys are just straight up awesome. I'm so incredibly excited to spend the next four years with you, going on more adventures and rolling down more hills. Thanks be to God for bringing me to all of you wonderful people.

Well it's like 3:30 a.m. and I'm now exhausted, but this post couldn't wait until tomorrow. I've never felt so joyful yet serene in my entire life, and I just wanted to take a minute and thank all of my friends for being my friends. I love you guys, to the moon and back. Goodnight!