Dragon Tales

Well the poll has closed, and the results show that Dragon Tales was many people's favorite childhood show. For those of you who haven't seen Dragon Tales, it is basically about two children, Emmy and Max, who wish upon a dragon scale and then go to Dragon Land to hang out with their dragon friends. This seems rather innocent and simple, but looking back on Dragon Tales, the show had a few not-so-childlike aspects to it.

1. Dragon Land is a horrible place. In one episode, Max and Emmy are stuck in a castle with their dragon friends. They are not allowed to leave for reasons never made clear. In another episode, they had to run to a treehouse before the purple sticky goo started coming down from a cloud. There are furies in flowers and scary sleeping giants who can be woken up with just a short argument. Dragon Land is a hair-raising and unsafe place for little children to be.

2. The dragons aren't even likable! On the surface, they're just dragons who little kids love. But when you actually look at their characters, they all have flaws.

• Cassie: small, reserved, anxious, insecure, wimpy.
• Ord: overweight and greedy lunkhead who is only concerned with the growling of his stomach.
• Zak and Weezie: two-headed dragon, one of which is pitiful and the other of which is a troublemaker. 
• Quetzal: the elderly father figure who is magical, but if you look at him more closely, he's actually a complete piece of crap, leading me to my third and final point. 

3. The magic in Dragon Land is hoarded by Quetzal! Zak and Weezy constantly irritate each other because they literally share a body, and in one episode, Quetzal pulls out two magical stones and tells them to recite a simple poem while holding them. After a flash of light, they are magically separated. THOSE TWO DRAGONS WERE CONJOINED FROM BIRTH AND YOU'RE JUST SEPARATING THEM NOW?!?! Quetzal could've given them two separate bodies from the start with no pain or danger involved. What kind of misanthrope keeps this miracle to himself???

I guess when we were kids, we enjoyed the pleasant mythical creatures and watching them go on adventures. We never saw the true horror lying beneath the surface of Dragon Tales. 

A Letter To My Ex

To My Ex: 

You may never read this letter, but these are the kindest words I have ever said to you.

You're emotionally abusive and manipulative. You hurt me deeply and you knew it, even though you always denied any any wrongdoing. You sold me a dream, but you failed to mention that I would never be a part of it. You used me so badly that I almost can't believe it actually happened. You gave me nothing. 

You positioned yourself so carefully by making sure you never quite lied or told me an untruth. You had an answer for everything, and on the rare occasion that you didn't, you never quite gave an answer. In this way you were able to walk away from this feeling as though you were good to me. But your behavior and manipulation is reprehensible. Even when we parted ways last, you just said, "Goodnight," expecting me to text you in a week and stroke your ego again and prove how much I like you. All those times it was over, you denied me simple closure. You couldn't even give me that, and of course I came back to try and make it right. Well, this is my closure.

Despite all of this, I remained by your side. I believed in you, and I saw great things in you. I believed your behavior was coming from a place of hurt and pain. The things that happened to you in your past affected you so deeply, and I kept thinking that if I showed you enough kindness, you would come around. I saw so much potential in you. But at the crux of it, you don't think anyone can truly love you for who you are, and so you value people by what you can get out of them. You give as little as possible so that when things fall apart, you never have to feel rejected. You throw yourself into material things that make you feel good for a little while because those things will never dump you. You are living a self-fulfilling prophecy. No one will truly love you like this. I thought I was in love with you, but in reality, I was in love with the man you could be - not the man you think you are.

That being said, I still believe in you. I know how much potential you have. One day I truly hope you will become the man I know you can be, but I will not be waiting around for that. 

You and I will always be unfinished business. There will never be true closure. There are things left unsaid and undone, but they will always be that way. There are certain people who come into your life and leave a mark. You left me with a bruise of longing. Hearing your name will always pull at my heart, but letting you burn me has taught me more lessons than I could express in words. Unfortunately I was never able to make you reciprocate my feelings, but that's okay now because it's over.

This is the kindest letter I could send you because it's a truth that you need to hear. This is my closure. I am completing the unfinished business I have now so that I am free as I move into this next phase of my life unencumbered. I hope you grow up someday. 

Best Wishes, 

The Girl Who Never Left

I Miss My Friends!

I've been missing my friends at home a lot lately, especially these guys. Skyping with LV and Matt today made me realize how far I actually am from home. 

Shannon - you're like a ray of sunshine in my life. You are my glass half-full. I miss you immensely. I hope you're having a great time at NHIA! You make an extremely cute sloth!

Jillybean - I really miss just being around you in general. You get me and I get you...like 2 peas in a pod. We feel the same about literally everyone, and that's why we work. I hope you're not meeting too many weirdos in Bitch (I mean Fitch!) burg.

Matt - I miss your big giant bear hugs and your sass and your everything. I hope you have a killer senior year this year. No matter how much we make fun of each other, I really enjoy our friendship sometimes. Break a leg in both shows, and make sure you Skype me and sing at some point! 

LV - Who woulda thought I would miss you so much? You're literally my other half because without you, I'm just LV, and you're just LV, but together we make up (LV)². I love you more than life. I can't wait until I see you again so I can run up to you and wrap you in a violent hug. Legit whenever we're together we have the best conversations, and like if anyone else heard us we would be put in a mental hospital, and that is why I love you so much. Thanks for being so awesome. 

I love you guys so much. Thanks for being the bestestestest friends everrrrrr. I hope y'all are doing great at your various schools! Can't wait to see y'all again sometime soon! 

Say a Prayer for the Police

Just realized how long it's been since I posted on here! Anyways, life got really busy this past week/weekend. But I had a lot of fun after getting over being sick!

So this weekend I went with my friends to this park on Saturday night (after watching Les Mis!). As a lot of people know, most public parks close at dusk. This one did too, but we "didn't see the sign." SO anyways, we were listening to music and acting like little kids at the playground when we see a police car pull into the parking lot.

"We aren't supposed to be here." "They're gonna ticket my car." "We're all gonna get in trouble." "Let's just get our stuff and go to the cars." "We won't get in as much trouble if we leave."

So we get our stuff and start walking to the cars. The officer rolls down his window and starts talking to us. But he was the most chill cop I have ever met.

"Yeah technically the park closes at dusk, but as long as you guys aren't doing anything I think I can let you stay, but if we get a call that you're bothering someone, I'm gonna have to come run you out."

"Oh okay." "Thank you officer." "So we can stay?!"

"Yeah, just don't get too loud and be smart."

What actually just happened? We met a guy who knew we were just kids wanting to have clean fun. And you know what? Not all police officers are bad people. Generally, they're just looking out for you and trying to keep you safe.

That reminded me to say a prayer for all of the police officers in our country right now. Many of them are not safe, yet they still get out of bed and go to work. Sure, this guy just had to tell some dumb college kids that the park is closed, but many of them are put in risky situations every single day. Say a prayer for them tonight.

Saint Michael, Patron Saint of Police Officers, pray for us.

Energy Drinks?

Well prior to college, the only energy drinks I ever had were Gatorade/PowerAde, Mountain Dew, and one Monster to pretend I was cool when I was maybe 12 years old. I've been a college student for 13 days now, and not only have I had Mountain Dew almost everyday, I've also been drinking coffee and Red Bulls. Coffee isn't too bad; Mountain Dew wakes me up; but they weren't kidding when they said Red Bull gives you wings.

Literally, it makes me feel like I'm high on life. It gives you so much energy. My friend Kiana and I each had a Red Bull, and we were bouncing off the walls and jumping up and down and singing badly while our other friends sat calmly playing the piano and guitar or doing homework. The energy high was great; the bad part was that the energy didn't help me with my school work. It made me overly hyper and distracted me even more.

Studies have shown that one 250 mL can of Red Bull has the same amount of caffeine in it that one cup of coffee has. Health authorities have said it is safe for consumption, making it available in 167 countries. However, the caffeine is not the real problem with the adored energy drink.

The amount of caffeine in a Red Bull leads to irritation and nervousness, and for people whom already experience these issues, this can lead to cardiac problems. The drinks cause mood swings in most people, and consumers can experience hallucinations, paranoia, and other behavior abnormalities. The worst part? Some of these energy drinks have been linked to consumers' deaths due to exceedingly high caffeine levels.

So I'm not about to completely stop drinking Red Bulls, but a Red Bull a day definitely does not keep the doctors away. Drink energy drinks with caution! And make sure you sleep sometimes, too. Your bed is your friend!

I Felt God; I Didn't Know Him.

WARNING: It's boutta get hella Catholic up in here.

So most people who know me think that I've always been "super crazy religious," as some of my friends might say. Like, "There's a Bible quote in her e-mail signature, she's a Jesus freak!" kind of religious. But that actually could not be further from the truth. When I went on my first youth conference before freshman year of high school, I finally realized how real Jesus is. It took me 14 years to truly feel His presence in my life. 14 years. That's an insanely long time to not know Jesus.

But I still didn't really know Him, I just felt Him. Kind of like I knew He was around, but I didn't want to talk to Him. Or maybe I did want to talk to Him, but I didn't know how. Even still, I went to Mass and went on more retreats. I always felt God around me. Every conference I went on, I would come home and tell myself it would be different this time around. I was going to get to know God this time. But I never went through with it. I never started a real prayer life. I was just another Catholic going through the motions at Mass on Sundays. Just another Catholic who went to Reconciliation maybe once or twice a year. Just another Catholic.

So now I'm 18. It's been 18 years, and I've only ever felt God. I've never taken the time to know Him. But I think that's finally going to change. This past weekend I had the amazing opportunity to attend a conference here at my school (Franciscan University of Steubenville) called Encounter. The main idea of the entire day was about encountering God. This notion of "knowing not feeling" was very present around me all day. I went through the motions at Mass that morning and listened to the speakers deliver powerful messages. And then my roommate wanted to go to Reconciliation. Ugh.

The Sacrament of Reconciliation gives me anxiety. Like, awful anxiety. But I knew that I needed to go. It had been over a year since I confessed my sins to God. Over a year since I had felt God's mercy in my life. But that only made this anxiety worse. We waited in line for about an hour. The closer I got, the more sick to my stomach I felt. I was freaking out, thinking the priest would judge me because I couldn't remember the last time I went to confession. But when it was finally my turn, I swallowed and took a deep breath and sat down across from Father Nathan (who is the bomb). It was the most healing sacrament I have ever experienced. I really knew God in that moment, and I knew His mercy. This was a brand new feeling - it took me 18 years to know God's mercy.

I went to Eucharistic Adoration a few hours after that and it was during those few hours where I first started getting to know Jesus. I never fully realized how calming just sitting in the presence of God could be. I didn't only feel God during adoration this time. I knew Him. Or at least, I started to get to know Him.

I went to Sunday Mass this evening. Tonight, August 30, 2015, was the first Mass where I can honestly say I did more than just go through the motions. I consciously thought about each word I was saying and praying. I made an effort to not be distracted by my environment. I didn't just feel as if I just received Jesus through Holy Communion - I knew that I had just received Jesus. I knew that He was in my heart.

And I can't think of a better way to start off my four years at Franciscan than this past weekend, especially knowing that I have a supportive group of friends who love me and care about me. They're the type of people who will help me start a prayer life so I can have an actual relationship with Jesus. They're the type of people who will hold me accountable for my actions and push me to be the best version of myself. They're the type of people who will help me know God.

I had a lot of struggles in high school. I still have a lot of struggles now. But I'm thrilled to embark on this journey of getting to know God, even if it seems difficult, because none of my scars can make Him love me less. I'm filled with joy because of the opportunity I have to get to know God and build a relationship with Him.

Thanks For Being My Friends, Old and New

Hey y'all, first I just wanna thank you guys for reading my blog posts. Never expected 195 page views! This is really cool. But this post is mainly just to talk about how grateful I am for my friends, old and new.

"Make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver, and the other's gold."

I miss my friends from back home everyday. It's hard to keep in touch with everyone because we all have so much going on in our lives right now. We're all on different time schedules, and we don't talk everyday like we used to. But I am forever thankful to my friends who do still talk to me when they have the chance, especially LV, Jillybean, Angela, Rissa, and Shannon. I miss all of you so much, but I'm so excited to hear about all of the amazing adventures you are about to experience during these next few months. I am so proud of all of you, and I'm so lucky to call you guys my friends. I can't wait until the day when I can say, "I knew them when..." because God has some great things in store for all of you.

And now for my new friends here at Franciscan. I never expected to make friends so quickly, and even more than that, I definitely did not expect to feel this close to you guys already. I am so thankful for each and every one of you; you make days when I'm missing home easier. I enjoy every minute with you, whether it's movie nights, praying together, study sessions, or just hanging out doing something stupid. Leah, Jim, Kiana, Bailey, Mark, CJ, Pat - you guys are just straight up awesome. I'm so incredibly excited to spend the next four years with you, going on more adventures and rolling down more hills. Thanks be to God for bringing me to all of you wonderful people.

Well it's like 3:30 a.m. and I'm now exhausted, but this post couldn't wait until tomorrow. I've never felt so joyful yet serene in my entire life, and I just wanted to take a minute and thank all of my friends for being my friends. I love you guys, to the moon and back. Goodnight!