Bucket List: My College Essay

Bucket List

Growing up, I constantly wanted to participate in community service. This desire to help people with their problems, physical or mental, has turned into my hope of becoming a social worker. I want to spend my entire life helping others, yet at one point in my life, I refused to let anybody help me.

Becoming a social worker has been influenced by my personal history. During my high school career I underwent two surgeries. I failed countless musical auditions. I always felt out of place because I was too mature for my age. In March of my junior year, I experienced my best friend turning on me, which turned into three girls from school posting about me on social media. This led to a significant change in my attitude, which was quickly noticed by my parents. I found myself sitting in the doctor’s office, where I experienced an unforgettable moment when I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety.

My immediate reaction was denial. I thought I was a burden to others, and I felt as if I wasn’t worthy of help. I had no interest in talking to friends because I assumed they would make fun of me if I admitted my weaknesses. I wouldn’t tell my mother anything either. But then, during a therapy session, two words on a piece of paper changed my entire mental state.

I walked into my therapist’s office one day, and she was sitting at the table in the middle of the room with markers and blank sheets of paper. As I sat down at the table, she showed me the first sheet of paper where she had written the words, “Bucket List.” I took the paper from her and wrote a long list of things I want to do before I die. Then she gave me a new piece of paper and told me to write my ultimate life goal. My goal was to help others who believed they were not worthy of receiving help; someone just like me.

After that therapy session I slowly let more people into my life. I started with my mother, and then branched out and told two of my closest friends. I asked for their forgiveness because I hadn’t trusted them or allowed them to help me through my struggles. Then I told more of my friends, and I was relieved when not a single person judged me because of my illness. I stopped pushing people away, and I was more open about my feelings. When I started allowing myself to receive help from others, I found strength. I was able to fight the depression and anxiety, and today, I am proud to say that I am able to successfully cope with the stresses of life. I learned that life is not meant to be painless, but I found accepting help makes life a lot less lonely.

Helping others has always been easy for me to do, but receiving help from others turned out to be extremely difficult. I will always remember the day I was diagnosed, because I thought it was the weakest moment of my entire life; but another day I will always remember is the day I finished my treatment. My therapist looked at me at the end of my last appointment with a smile lighting up her face, and she simply said, “You made it.”  

What Social Workers Make

Every time I tell someone that I am a social work major, the response I get is something along the lines of "oh, you're never going to make any money!!" I usually just nod and laugh, because the truth is, I don't want a job that's going to make me rich if I can't help anyone while doing it. Currently I am taking the intro to social work class, and my professor shared the following article with us. For all those people who think I am going to make nothing, please read the following story, written by Mary S. Sheridan, PhD, ACSW, a social work professor at Hawaii Pacific University. 

The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man decided to explain the problem with social services. He argued, "How's a person going to benefit from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a social worker?" He reminded the other dinner guests what they say about social workers - "bleeding heart liberals." To stress his point, he said to one of the guests, "You're a social worker, Bonnie. Be honest. What do you make?" 

Bonnie, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness, replied, "You want to know what I make?" She paused for a second, and then began. "Well, my colleagues and I make safe places for abused children and battered wives. In the process, we do our best to make them feel that they didn't deserve the treatment they got, so they can go out and do better in their lives. We make arrangements for the elderly to go home from hospitals with adequate care, and run support groups so their caregivers don't burn out. When a young widow or single mother doesn't know where to turn, my colleagues and I make sure that she knows - whether people like it or not - what benefits she's eligible for. And we do the best we can to make sure she doesn't get lost in the bureaucracy. We make plans with clients so they can get jobs and homes. And this is only a start." 

"You want to know what social workers make?" Bonnie asked again. She paused and looked at every person at the table. "We make visits in neighborhoods that a lot of people wouldn't go to on a bet because we know that people there are in need. And we make friends there who invite us back to their weddings, their luaus, and the opening of the community center that we campaigned for. We make time to listen to the elderly, the mentally ill, the lonely. And we have knowledge and skills to help them make real improvements in their lives. We make appointments with officials and testify before the legislature to get everyone in the community a fair shake. Some us teach, to make the next generation's social workers. And sometimes, we make plans with our friends and families - and then have to break them because there's an accident, a fire, a disaster here or in another state or even another country, and a social worker is needed."

Bonnie paused one last time and then continues. "So when people want to judge us by what we make, we can hold our heads up high and say, 'I make a difference...what do you make?'"  

 My future profession is not all about how much money I am going to make. Yes, survival and comfort are both important, but so is helping other people who are in need. So if and/or when I tell you I am a social work major, I would really appreciate it if you would respond with something other than "oh you're always going to be struggling!" because to be honest, the people I will be helping are going to be struggling much more than I will be.